Monday, October 10, 2011

Five days ago, October 5, 2011 Steve Jobs, guru of Apple, died.  I never really paid too much attention to him while he lived.  I appreciated his talent and the fruits of his labor.  But it wasn’t until he died that I learned some of his thoughts.   As I read an article on Yahoo Internet news on Oct 6 which quoted some of his words from the 2005 commencement speech for Sanford.  I’ve been mulling over them ever since.

No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because death is very likely the single best invention of life. It is life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. …
Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And, most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. …”

I am now 2 years older than Mr. Jobs when he died but I must admit when I am being honest with myself, for most of my life I have tried to live someone else’s life.   I want to be like some movie star or some celebrity.  Or perhaps it was a teacher I admired.  I just wanted to be that person. 

When I did not want to be someone else I often allowed the “noise of others opinions” to drown out my own inner voice.  Always wanting someone else’s approval or to please others and I did not know who Vicki was created to be!  Oh, how that must have grieved my God for such a long time.

God has created us as a unique person with a unique role to play on earth – this is our island home.  When we try to live it like someone else or try to win favorable opinion of others we can desecrate the person God created us to be.  It is one thing to learn the lessons we need from others in order to live an orderly life but totally another to live your life solely to please others to the point that we lose sight of who we are.

Even as I write, my heart is weeping for what I’ve done by not honoring God in being who He created me to be.  I am thankful that I worship a forgiving God.

I feel a sense of peace as I come to an awareness of wasted time and even years attempting to be who I am not.  Don’t get me wrong,  there is a large part of who I am today because I have allowed myself to follow the unique path for me.  But I also realize that there is a too large part of my behavior that was played for others and it did drown out my inner voice.

My reality is that I play to an audience of One.  It is only God that I need to seek to please.  Because He is my Creator, He is pleased  for me to be the person He created.  He is the only one that has the love, power, and faithfulness to me that will empower me to find that unique inner voice and to truly live .  Through His love, I have the courage to live MY life as He designed.

Play to the audience of One.  Seek to find the inner voice He created in you and live with courage.

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